The battle ensues when you have to decide between letting secrets out of the bag, and exposing the wrong doings of some. Or…keeping the silence so as not to cause a riff among family members. What if the opinion of one family member is not the same as others. Maybe what you think is wrong morally, or otherwise, is acceptable to others.

Battle number two starts as you distrust your own thinking. Are you being too hard on the person/people in question? Are your own morals too strict? I believe the answer to that one can almost never be yes. In some extreme cases maybe, but not in this case. 

As the battle rages on in my head, I feel at this particular time, it is best left there. It may and probably will come out some day when my own morals are questioned. For right now I am keeping my thoughts unopinionized. (this is a word I just added to my dictionary).

Anyway, what I want to get at is, that even though one may go on a diet it doesn’t necessarily mean they have to deny themselves certain items. It also does not mean you have to deny yourself flavor. Most, if not all seasonings, are fine on any diet plan one may choose. 

As for sweets, go ahead and indulge from time to time just do not do it as often. Plan a little exercise for afterward to curb the guilt. Do you feel guilty or maybe even a little embarrassed when indulging in a cookie while at a stop light? Then it is time to stop, if however, you feel good enough with yourself to chow down a couple of chocolate chip delights while the world is watching, than good for you. 

Part of my problem is I believe that I did not see myself as fat. I used to tilt the scales between 258-260 lbs. That was quite a while ago and recently I weighed in at 228.8. (I have a digital scale now). For me though 230 is the new 240. I am not completely unhappy with myself, yet I feel I have a ways to go to achieve the goals I have set for myself. 

By the way, my goal is not a certain weight. It is a look. If I like what I see when I step out of the shower and still weigh over 215, then so be it. If I when eyeing myself in the mirror I do not like what I see despite being down to 210 or less than I will keep working at it. I should insert in here that at some point it should not be just about weight loss, weight training to tone and redefine my muscles has to enter into it.

That is why right now I am debating the gym membership versus bike ideas.

Again my main point is you don’t have to deny yourself just because you are on a diet. F Certain flavors will cost next to nothing in the way of calories. Oh yeah, some of the very things you were told were good for you, may not be allowed on some diet plans. For instance the Sugar Buster’s Diet does not allow for watermelon, corn, carrots, dark meat chicken, (most diets tell you, you need to eat skinless breast meat). the list is actually quite extensive. Some of the items you used to sneak to satisfy that sweet tooth are not as bad as you first thought.

DISCLAIMER: I HAVE SET A GOAL OF REACHING THE 230 MARK. NOW THAT I HAVE HIT THAT MARK MY NEXT GOAL IS 225. I FIND IT EASIER TO HIT THE ULTIMATE GOAL IF I SET LITTLE GOALS ALONG THE WAY. I THEN REWARD MYSELF SOMEWHAT FOR EACH GOAL. 

I am actually referring to the idea of wanting, and maybe even possibly needing, to do more than one thing at a time. In some instances (such as tonight) it was come into the world wide web and do something semi-creative. Or go to my room and read more of the story I have been enveloped in. When I come in here, the W.W.W. I have to decide where I want to divide the time I am going to spend. I have not been putting enough time to being in here. I need to do that more, draw in more readers. I do spend a lot of time going through my Facebook page and commenting on the water-cooler subject of the day. Admiring some of the wonderful pics that some people post. One of my favorite sites, not to get too sidetracked here, is Room With a View. I do like to debate politics, and ideas people have on how they feel life should really be.

So, it is easy to get split in the mind with things I/we need or want to do. It happens with the menial things, such as which chores I am going to do today. Also the fun side of your day may be trying to decide do I go for a ride, or take in a movie.

There is also the idea that we can get split monetarily. Which bills do I pay today? Or…fun side again….which new toy can I buy. I have recently come into a small windfall. I am now debating whether to use it to pay off a couple of bills or do I use it for one bill and something whimsical. Payday is at the end of the week my days off are now, Tues. & Wed.

One can get torn between the practical side of things that make perfect sense. Paying the bills now would enable me to free up my check for me things, bike, laptop, better phone, later. Or do I get the bike now and pay one bill. Or do I join a gym and get the bike. Or do i buy my friend a really nice birthday present. Not being the selfish type I like the latter. I enjoy the reaction I get when she gets my gifts. 

Anyway that is all for now It is getting late and if I do not end this soon I will end up rambling on about half a million other things. I guess what I should say in conclusion, is that I need to organize my thoughts better. Plan out my finances a little better, and decide what is really important. So if you don’t see me in here again soon. I will probably be on the bike path, toting my laptop to the gym, after taking in a movie.

Before one can move on into a better relationship, job, etc….One has to admit their own mistakes. This is what enables us as human beings to move on from our past and into the future. Even if those mishaps are minimal. It is imperative that we admit we made mistakes. Now, I am not saying that you have to write the New York Times and confess all. I am merely pointing out the fact that we all need to remind ourselves that even though we may have put in “one hundred and ten percent” of our time and effort. Somewhere along the way we did something wrong.

As you decide to move on with your life think about what may have gone wrong somewhere. Then really dig into your psyche and figure out the four w’s. What, why, when, and where. What was it you think you may have done wrong. Why you did it. When the mishap occurred. Finally where you were in your life that allowed you to be this way.

By the way as I said earlier no one wants to take the blame for their mistakes. Please keep in mind that no one else wants to take the blame either. As you may feel the need to finger point, let me point out myself. The idea that most finger pointers are usually guilty of something. They are merely trying to distract the attention to someone else.

I have been in many places, but I’ve never been in Cahoots

.Apparently, you can’t go alone. You have to 

be in Cahoots with someone.

I’ve also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there

I have, however, been in Sane. They don’t have an airport; you have to be
driven there. I have made 
several trips there, thanks to my friends, family and work. 

I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I’m not too

much on physical activity 

anymore.

I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit
there too often.

I’ve been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.

Sometimes I’m in Capable, and I go there more often as I’m getting older.

One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenalin
flowing and pumps up the old 
heart! At my age I need all the stimuli I can get!

I may have been in Continent, and I don’t remember what country I was in.
It’s an age thing.

PLEASE DO YOUR PART!

Today is one of the many National Mental Health Days throughout the year.
You can do your bit by 
remembering to send an e-mail to at least one unstable person.

My job is done!

From one unstable person to another…I hope everyone is happy in your head
- we’re all doing pretty 
good in mine!

Remembering your age…..I have sent this in a little larger print.

After Memorial Day last year, I wrote a thank-you note to those men and women that fight for our freedom and our right to live the lives we do. I do wonder how many of us take their lifestyle for granted. I am not just referring to all the perks. The phones that do everything, the ipads, but what about doing laundry, other everyday stuff.

For instance driving to work or taking the bus. I know that some of you look at the bus as a lesser alternative you use due to a lack of choice. What if that choice was no longer available. What if it was the only choice. Not that it would be a choice anymore.

Worse yet, what if that choice was gone. The buses stopped running and your car broke down. What if you never knew they stopped service because you never really paid attention. What if you lost your job, and had no real skill outside of whatever it is you have been doing for the past twenty years?!?